so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
i think im in europe. pls send help
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
