he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
