I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
