Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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