guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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