i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Someone shit on the floor
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
