I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
