Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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