i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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