5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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