Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
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I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
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I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
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