'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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