you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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