and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
My bed smells like the plague
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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