one might say we're banned from that church
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
