Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
