I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
