So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I think i got beer on your cat.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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