He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
