Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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