Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
