dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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