Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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