someone threw a dead crab at me
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
