I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
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getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
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Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize