i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
