I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
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