haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
