shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
