if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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