You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize