I want to stick my p in your. b.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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