Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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