So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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