I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i think i have herpe
just one?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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