He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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