I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
