Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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