you suck at this game today
you guys were way drunker than both of me
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won