your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.