You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.