tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.