I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does