I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?