people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
We need to rekindle our bromance
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
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I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
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WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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