my soul wont recognize me after tonight
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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