I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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