only if we run a train.
done.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
