just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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