i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
