my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
