He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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