Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹ï¸
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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