happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
