haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
