At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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