So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize