You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
