i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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