I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
